Dedicated to those who must soon qualify on Submarines

Were you ever around when one of your shipmates had to be reminded by a subject matter expert (hopefully never in an emergency situation) that since the shipmate was qualified he must already know the answer to his own question? While not funny, it is certainly inspirational. In lieu of Questions of the Week, here are 3 Answers of the Week. Draw your own conclusions about these questions, if you think you are qualified.
.
1. What exactly is the plural of penis? I would say penises, but it seems too simple and obvious. Is it penis, like deer, or maybe peni, like fungi? — Sissy, Emerald Isle, NC.
.
ANSWER 1. (by The Straight Dope): Penis is a third declension noun, not second declension. These nouns often end in -is in the singular and -es in the plural. The English style -ises is sometimes preferred. Hence, we have penises (half of us do, anyway), and mantises and pelvises, but only more rarely do you see penes, mantes, and pelves, though they are not incorrect. In many cases, only the Latin form is acceptable: We have testes (some more than others) and crises and psychoses, but never testises, crisises, or pyschosises.
.
------------------------------------------
2-(a) A Harvard Law School graduate admitted Wednesday to setting a fire at a temporary repository for Sept. 11 victims' remains, though he said he had been so drunk he barely recalled his actions. "I cannot explain why I acted the way I did, but I take responsibility for my actions. I am sorry," Brian Schroeder said, his voice cracking slightly, as he pleaded guilty to arson, cemetery desecration and all the other charges against him in the Halloween 2009 fire.
.
ANSWER 2-(a): (by AP) - Luck
Charles Wolf, whose wife, Katherine, died at the World Trade Center, didn't feel Schroeder deserved jail. "Why ruin someone's life? He made a mistake," Wolf said.
.
------------------------------------------
2-(b) Man Hit By SUV: "Frogger" In Real Life Goes Wrong
The 23-year-old man was taken to a hospital after the accident occurred around 9 p.m. on Monday. The driver will not be charged with any crimes. Clemson Police Chief Jimmy Dixon said that the 23-year-old man and his friends were waiting to cross at the intersection of Highways 123/76 and 133 about 9 p.m. Dixon said the man and his friends were talking about the video game, the object of which is to get a frog across a busy highway without being hit, when the man yelled "Go!" He said the man then darted into the highway, dodging oncoming traffic. Dixon said the man was hit by a oncoming SUV.The man was listed in stable condition as of Tuesday morning at Anderson Memorial Hospital, Dixon said.
.
The man's identity and university affiliation were not immediately released.
ANSWER 2-(b): (7 Years in Hollywood) Luck, again.
There's an old saying, "I'd rather be lucky than smart."
.
------------------------------------------
3. Alvin Greene, the unemployed Army veteran who suggested during his failed Democrat bid for the U.S. Senate that making action figures of himself would help create jobs, is running for office again. Greene had earlier been arrested on a felony obscenity charge accusing him of showing pornography to a student in a USC campus computer lab.
.
ANSWER How does Greene do it?: (by Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of the US) PERSISTENCE "Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts [ref. 2-(a) and (b)]. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
.
Greene picked up more than 350,000 votes (28 percent of the statewide tally) in his Senate bid, when he was defeated by popular incumbent Jim DeMint in November. Greene has now paid the filing fee to run in a special election for the House seat vacated by the death of a Democrat Representative.
.
Submarines are always silent and strange.