Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Ice Age Planning Step #1 PETA

Disclaimer: If the past is an accurate guide, wild swings in weather patterns over hundreds of years will foretell Earth's next ice age. Severe, widespread cold will then limit vegetation zones, herds and agriculture for around the next 100,000 years. Mankind will once again adapt to nomadic survival. While dire consequences are not expected in our lifetimes, early considerations are wise.

Ice Age Planning Step #1
Surround yourself with PETA members now; they are kind to animals, preferring to consume grains and veggies. When the sudden food shortage arises, PETA members not only taste the best, they obviously make the healthiest choice. They do not harbor growth hormones and drugs found in regular, beef-fed humans and are most certainly free of Mad Cow disease. Cardiologists also claim grain-fed PETA activists have healthier nutritional profiles, including heart-healthful Omega 3 fatty acids. Fortunately, PETA members are organized and very easy to find just about everywhere. You have just solved your hunting and gathering problem!

Next week: Ice Age Planning Step #2


At 30 June, 2005 10:58, Blogger WillyShake said...

Too funny! Thanks for sharing!


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