Thursday, June 30, 2005

Ice Age Planning Step # 2 ACLU

Disclaimer: If the past is an accurate guide, wild swings in weather patterns over hundreds of years will foretell Earth's next ice age. Severe, widespread cold will then limit vegetation zones, herds and agriculture for around the next 100,000 years. Mankind will once again adapt to nomadic survival. While dire consequences are not expected in our lifetimes, early considerations are wise.

Ice Age Planning Step #2
Identify any ACLU lawyers in your nearest city now. They are great proponents of public service and well-versed in nuanced distinctions. These "specialists" will be indispensable in one of two ways. Fungi (mushrooms) will become a vital part of your ice-age nutrition pyramid when crop shortages develop. Identification of edible versus toxic look-a-likes should be left to the expertise of ACLU lawyers practiced as they are in nuanced distinctions. Of course, they will need to improve upon these skills by personally sampling fungi before others consume it. Those who possess inadequate nuance skills can be expected to "drop out" of your foraging parties. Those who claim they are not so interested in public service, afterall, or who claim mushroom allergies may be traded to distant tribes for more useful furs or pelts. CAUTION: Never attempt acculturation of ACLU types unwilling to eat mushrooms; their litigious attitude will generate unnecessary strife, divisions and chaos into your caravan for many generations. ACLU lawyers are generally urban dwellers who seek anonymity. Identify them with the help of your state's bar association or prison population. You have just solved your foraging problem!

Next week: Ice Age Planning Step #3


Post a Comment

<< Home