Best Submarine Film of the Year: "Run Silent, Run Dumb

Reviews: *** 3.1/10

Nominee: Run Silent, Run Dumb Original Title Run silent, run stupid

Plot

A replica 1776-era submarine is launched in New York Harbor. A moron is taken into custody with two confederates within 200 feet of the 1,132-foot British cruise ship Queen Mary 2. Violations of security zones are punishable by a maximum of a $50,000 fine, five years imprisonment, or both. Suspicion of involvement in terror plots is grounds for surreptitious electronic and physical surveillance, indefinitely.

Director: Duke Riley, sculptor and performance artist

Cast:

Duke Riley - Sculptor, sub builder

Mr. Bushnell - Historical Advisor, Tug Pilot

Mr. Cushing - Key Grip

Alberto Magnan and Dara Metz - Gallery Owners and Art Dealers

Release Date: Friday, August 3rd, approximately 11 a.m.

Genre: Slapstick / Comedy/ Terror Thriller

Tagline: Do not trust heavily tatooed artists

Plot Outline: Heavily tattooed Phillip Duke Riley sipped a 16-ounce alcoholic beverage to prove he was no Islamist radical. Riley wore a life jacket and was equipped with a reserve oxygen supply. His replica, 1776-era submarine set off terror alerts as it drifted in prevailing Buttermilk Channel currents into a security zone around a 1132-foot cruise ship moored at Red Hook. Finally surrounded by harbor police and the Coast Guard, the moron was taken into custody with two confederates within 200 feet of the British cruise ship Queen Mary 2. Philip "Duke" Riley, 35, was arrested with accomplices who towed his cheap, plywood and fiberglass submarine a luxury ocean liner - not the brightest idea in security conscious, post-9/11 New York. Was this shear stupidity, or a test run for a future, nocturnal terrorist attack?

Shall the Shallow Be Punished? Osama bin Mama wishes he had thought of this stunt and used plastique instead of infidels for ballast.