ISIS Stubs Toe, Leaders Under Threat of Guantánamo Confinement or Burial at Sea!

Background

In 2007, Molten Eagle published an updated choosing jingle by our own cartoonist-poet Juan Caruso al Humacao.  Here is what Juan had sent eight years ago:

Eenie...Meanie…Miney…Moe, Catch a prophet by the toe;

Eenie...Meanie…Miney…Moe, If he's peaceful, let him go;

Eenie...Meanie…Miney…Moe, Or, off to Guantánamo!

ISIS Leaders Now Taking Credit for Its Stubbed Toe

ISIS, upholder of one-way Islamic rights, is attempting to capitalize on news that the latest fanatical chump duo who FAILED to wreak mayhem in Garland, Texas recently had communicated beforehand with militants.

ISIS is reaching, attempting to claim caliphatic credit for a total chump failure.  ISIS also threatens to kill Pamela Geller, boasting of  having 71 trained chumps in 15 different U.S. states. In ISIS arithmetic, the boast is the al-Qaeda equivalent of (72 virgins x 71 chumps = 5112 statutory reward rapes) --- certainly not a nice paradise sojurn for women, n'est-ce pas?

Submarines are always silent and strange.