Submarine Humor Revisited

Background

It seems too long since any submarine pranks or humor have been featured in one of ME's posts.  So we hope readers find the following links (2) refreshingly entertaining.

FEATURED

# 1 - [NEW] Former Faslane Commodore Thompson commanded five nuclear submarines during his career, including HMS Revenge (S27).   As told in his new book, On Her Majesty's Nuclear Service, and in this recent article  (near bottom) he confesses to a submarine wardroom prank with a wildly unintentional result. 

# 2 - [OLDER] From a decade or so ago, this 4 minute YouTube production: "Das Tub"

Submarines are always silent and strange




 

China Just Denuclearized a Sub ... Wait! There is More

Background

China's first ballistic missile submarine, Type 092 submarine (Xia-class), was laid down in 1978, launched in 1981 and commissioned by 1983. - Wikipedia

China's Latest Claims

2016-10-16 |  China's first nuclear submarine decommissioned
China's first nuclear-powered submarine has been decommissioned after more than 40 years of military service, according to the naval authorities.

After undergoing a thorough denuclearization process, the submarine was towed to a wharf belonging to the Chinese Navy Museum in Qingdao, a port city in east China's Shandong Province, on Saturday, where it will be a public exhibit.

The submarine's release from military service and the safe, thorough and reliable handling of related nuclear waste, nuclear reactor and other devices showed China's life-cycle maintenance ability, ranging from a nuclear submarine's production, operation, management to disposal, the naval authorities said.  

Coincidences

AUG. 23, 2016 |  North Korea Test-Fires Missile From Submarine
— North Korea test-fired a ballistic missile from a submarine off its eastern coast on Wednesday, demonstrating a significant improvement in its efforts to build a harder-to-detect means to strike American and allied forces, the South Korean military said.

The missile, launched from near Sinpo, a submarine base, flew 310 miles toward Japan, the South Korean military said in a statement. The statement said that the test showed that North Korea was making “progress” after several failed tests of submarine-launched ballistic missiles, or SLBMs.

A DuplicateSub

"A second boat is thought to have been completed in 1982, however this is debatable. There is little information regarding the history of this ship if in fact it actually existed. It is suggested, though not confirmed, that this second Type 092 was lost in an accident in 1985.^{[6][7][8] "}

Worst Case Analysis

 <sup>Molten Eagle: If a second Xia-class SSBN ship exists, it could well be the one displayed at the Chinese Navy Museum in Qingdao.   With its denuclearized (propulsion reactor systems) removed, the actual Xia, with its 12 missile tubes and 6 torpedo tubes, and which has undergone numerous refits, including new coating, possible quieting technologies, French-designed sonar, and improved longer ranged JL-1A SLBM missiles, would be the game changing launch platform North Korea has been seeking to get within missile range of every U.S. target.

Whether obtained covertly by North Korea or its ally Iran, Xia could easily be refitted with an AIP propulsion plant to provide greater stealth and much simpler operating and training requirements than any nuclear submarine. Such improvements would offer a significant near-term strike nuclear potential to either of these petulant regimes. Does China twist the truth? Calculate the years of service of the Xia and compare to "40 years in active operation" claimed by China.

Submarines are always silent and strange.</sup> 

 

Recent Submarine Curiosities Around Globe

 Curiosity 1  (?)

Can you identify the vessels and location pictured below?

During what event was this?

M.E. Comment:  Answers Friday

Curiosity 2  (US)

  "The Submarine Force is seeking high caliber female applicants from all ratings."

(Actual accompanying photo)

M.E. Comment:  Are those storm clouds rising?

 

 Curiosity 3 (INDIA)

‘Nepotism nuked our careers’  

A critical component of the almost $100 million training programme was a group of 11 officers who were to be trained by Russian experts for operating nuclear reactors on submarines. This group was to play a critical leadership role as India’s nuclear submarine capabilities reached the maturity to launch nuclear missiles.

In a bizarre twist to that pioneering effort, all the senior reactor operators, nine of them, have been denied promotion to the rank of Captain, despite their expensive and exclusive skills in commissioning, operating and maintaining nuclear reactors on submarines. 

 

 M.E. Comment:  Did Vice-Admiral Chatterjee manipulate the promotion process in such a way that he has been the Reviewing Officer for his own son-in-law for family benefit, or because the unpromoted officers are too valuable to INS nuclear subs to promote?  Well, read the linked story. 

 Curiosity 4 (Canada)

Partner with Australia for submarines

The Canadian government has an opportunity to partner with Australia to build DCNS Barracuda-class subs for the Royal Canadian Navy. 

 M.E. Comment:  But read the next curiosity --- is the price of those boats about to rise with India cancelling its big INS order?  India Drops Plans to Add 3 More French Stealth Attack Submarines.

Curiosity 5  (India)

   India Drops Plans to Add 3 More French Stealth Attack Submarines

The Indian Navy has purportedly shelved plans to add more French submarines to its fleet following the DCNS leak.  The INS will not procure additional Scorpene-class (Kalvari-class) diesel-electric attack submarines from France's DCNS, following the leak of documents detailing the top-secret combat capabilities of India’s new submarine fleet, according to media reports.

“India has ordered only six Scorpene submarines and orders have not been placed for three more as reported by some media. Therefore question of cancellation does not arise,” an Indian naval officer told Reuters.

 M.E. Comment: The less work for DCNS, the higher its residual overhead costs per hour of production.  If there was no agreement for 3 additional subs, why has justification been cited? India's defence official said he did not expect any movement on that project until the investigation into the Scorpene leak was completed and new security measures put in place. In other words, for leverage.

 Curiosity 6 (United Kingdom)

Morale: How The Internet Cripples SSBN Operations

In Britain the Royal Navy has found it impossible to attract enough qualified sailors to operate all its nuclear submarines, especially the SSBNs (nuclear powered subs carrying ballistic missiles). The reason is that SSBNs stay at sea for 90 days at a time .... The problem is that too many otherwise qualified sailors and officers are not willing to spend 90 days without Internet access. This shortage has already reduced the number of days British SSBNs can spend at sea.  

 

 M.E. Comment:  What has changed since the Cold War has been the waning interest of the recruiting pool in military service and modern youths' dependence upon their communication culture. (U.K., France, U.S., etc.).  

 Curiosity 7 (Australia)

Submarine Data Leak Roils Three Governments

The revelation Aug. 24 by an Australian newspaper that thousands of pages of presumably secret submarine documents were on the loose shook governments in Canberra, New Delhi and Paris. The news threatened the operational security of India’s new Scorpene-class submarines, embarrassed French shipbuilder DCNS, and raised security questions about Australia’s recent Australian $50 billion deal with DCNS for 12 Shortfin Barracuda submarines, of a design similar to the Scorpenes.

As reported by The Australian newspaper, a reporter was shown samples of up to 24,500 pages of highly technical data on the Scorpene submarine, an advanced, non-nuclear design that has been exported by DCNS to several countries. The documents, said The Australian, include highly technical drawings, specifications and operational capability descriptions of the submarine’s stealth features; noise signatures at different speeds; range, endurance, diving depths, magnetic and infrared data.  

DCNS has been made aware of articles published in the Australian press related to the leakage of sensitive data about (the) Indian Scorpene,” the company told Defense News on Aug. 23. “This serious matter is being thoroughly investigated by the ...  French national authorities for defense security,” DCNS said."

M.E. Comment:  There is ample blame to go around, hence very expensive learning opportunities.

Submarines are always silent and strange.

Recent Submarine Intrigues of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Kind

While the categories described have nothing to do with the late astronomer Dr. Josef Allen Hynek's  categories of  UFO encounters, here is a review of the Hynek scale for the potential edification of misdirected readers.

Recent Submarine Intrigues 

  
1st Kind  -   Competitive: contract to build the next class for Australia

The competitors are Sweden (Saab Kockums) , Germany (ThyssenKrupp) and Japan ((joint build by Mitsubishi Heavy Industries and Kawasaki Heavy Industries).  

Apparently, any $20 billion award for 10 new subs (about US $18.7 billion ) must recognize a need for related job support in the Adelaide region. 
 


2nd Kind -   Mysteries

 #1  -  RARE personnel transfer from submarine - the U.S.  Atlantic Fleet

The US asked the Bermuda Maritime Operations Centre this week to fetch a sailor from a navy sub.  The sailor was then brought ashore and taken to the airport for a flight home.  The crew transfer was described as humanitarian.  more


#2 -  RARE disclosure of U.S. strategic patrols completion

Navy marks 4,000th ballistic-missile submarine patrol
 

#3 - RARE:  U.S. Navy touchy-feely

"The U.S. Navy is looking for ways to adapt its training for millennials, young people raised in a child-centric culture who want and expect nurturing relationships with their bosses.  While some see the craving for feedback as a weakness, Jarrett said it could be a benefit if it's embraced by the Navy. He said the chief of naval operations has indicated his office is reviewing changes that may help tailor training for the new generation of sailors and officers." - 26 SEP 2014 Navy Capt. Andrew Jarrett,  commanding officer of the submarine school, Groton, CT. 

3rd Kind -  Contentious neighbors - China and India

A Song-class diesel attack submarine (SSK) took on fuel and provisions in Sri Lanka from Sept. 7 to 14, raising India's suspicions as to China expanding its submarine ops into the Indian Ocean.


The Chinese government insists the submarine had only made a replenishment stop* in Sri Lanka on way to the Gulf of Aden for escort and anti-piracy operations, although the submarine  has been accompanied by a tender*.

Submarines are always silent and strange.