Al Qaeda Developing Advanced Airliner Explosive and Ignitor

The U.S. has a Department of Homeland Security and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). Few realize that Al-Qaeda has not been idle in its own advanced research efforts for terrorist acts.

How it works

A critical number of Al-Qaeda suicide bombers (PART A) successfully board a U.S. bound commercial airliner in a dry desert location. Two (PART B) suicide bombers board the same airliner with reserved seats in the midst of the PART A group. Both groups turn overhead air supply nozzles to OFF positions.

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PART A

This group, explosivees who have been trained in radical mosques by Mr. Methane-type Imams consume large quantities of flatulence-producing foods such as potatoes, Jerusalem artichokes, milk and lactose-feeding bacteria. They reserve adjacent seats on one side of the aircraft.
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PART B

The two human fuses sit in the midst of PART A suicide explosiveees. When hydrogen reaches approximately 45% in air the human fuses, who have been sitting atop special jihadist prayer mats combing their beards ignite the hydrogen cloud with a static spark created by touching their metal rimmed eyeglasses together.

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CURRENT STATUS

At this time, the required number of PART A terrorists is still prohibitive at greater than 240.

Al Qaeda hopes that an introduction of certain methane-producing beans to the aforementioned suicide diets will enrich the explosive gasses so fewer terrorists will be needed.

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Continuous recruiting for more suicide trainees has been increasingly problematic. The replacement rate has been very high with drop outs saying the concept stinks, and Bin Laden himself complaining about the oppressive need for more foot washing facilities in related training camps.